Challenge ideas.constipation

[Britney M]

Hello. We have been working on this fear of being constipated and getting a suppository for months now and I feel like we are just stalled. She is willing to do the challenges but I feel like I need fresh ideas. It seems like we’re not making any progress anymore and we’re missing somewhere.  The challenges we have been doing for this are pretending to give her dolls a suppository, making up stories about being constipated, talking back to OCD about being constipated.

The second thing I’m stuck on is she is struggling with getting new things. Doesn’t want to get rid of anything or any toys and when we go to the store (with a gift card from her bday for example) she panics and can’t decide and won’t get something even if she seems like she wants it. I think this goes back to feeling like she can’t get rid of things so not wanting to bring in new things. Every toy of gift she gets for a birthday or holiday she wants to return and not keep. I can’t quite figure this one out.

[Natasha]

Hi Britney,
It sounds like maybe some more detective work is needed to find the core fear around all those issues. Here are some questions I would ask her (obviously not all at once though 😉).

-What’s the scariest part about being constipated (You want to make sure your challenges are directly related to the core fear).

-What’s the hardest part about getting rid of your things?

-What’s the hardest part about deciding what new things to get?

Her answers can shed insight into what is going on. I’m happy to problem-solve further after you talk with her about these.

[Britney M]

Hello. She says the scariest part about being constipated is having to get a suppository (she has had to have these in the past but not for a few years). We have been doing challenges of having her give dolls or stuffed animals a pretend suppository but I feel like we’re really stuck with needing new challenge ideas with our current things going on. It seems like we’re stalled right now with not making any further progress and challenges not being that challenging for her.

As far as getting rid of things and getting new things she says the scariest part of getting rid of things is she’ll miss them or need them in the future and with getting new things she’s scared it won’t be the right decision and she like it. I’m not sure what to do for challenges with this one.

Thank you.

[Natasha]

Hi Britney,
With regard to the suppository, I would still continue down the rabbit hole to find the core fear. When she gives you an answer, you continue going further until you reach the bottom. For example, “what’s the hardest part (or scariest) part about getting a suppository? If it how it feels is the main issue, roleplaying is nice, but not addressing the main issue.

You won’t always do challenges for fears or struggles, sometimes you do some reframing (especially when it is anxiety based).

The fear of missing items or “possibly needing them in the future” are common thoughts for people who struggle with hoarding. I don’t know how old she is, but with kids who have these issues (even with my own son), I explained hoarding in a kid friendly way and limited “saving” unnecessary things to one drawer. It was a process and it took some time to get to that point, but now at 12 hoarding is not an issue at all for him.

Here are some resources on hoarding in kids that might help further:

-Podcast for you:
https://www.anxioustoddlers.com/children-hoarders/

-Youtube video for kids:
https://www.anxioustoddlers.com/wont-throw-anything-away-hoarding/

Indecision is also a common anxiety trait. It is helpful to teach her that she will never have a 100% great feeling about a choice, because there will always be other options. The key is to just embrace what you decided and sit with the uncomfortable feeling the decision brought you (not wavering).

I made a kids YouTube video on that topic as well:

https://www.anxioustoddlers.com/hard-time-making-decisions

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