ocd,anxiety in 6 year old, without therapist

[Vidula T]

Hi.. I’m not new here, I’m a member of this wonderful community for the past 4months. The initial month went great; I could learn a lot and was very confident. But for the last three months, I’m paying the membership fee monthly and doing nothing. I’m feeling extremely guilty for not making use of this chance(Im also struggling with depression). I don’t know where to start or how to implement these skills in our lives.

My daughter is now 6 years old. Her initial symptoms started when she was 3.8 years old. Everything was going fine, one day she accidentally bit a chilly and immediately threw up. Till then she is afraid of throwing up, even the word itself. I was completely unaware of Emetophobia or ocd that time, but I could sense some changes in her behaviour. Later she was not ready to sit in dining chairs, her study table etc. She feels disgusted seeing even some tiny black dirt in the bathroom tiles. I observed her and read many articles online to get a suspicion that she has probably ocd and anxiety.

When she was 4.3years old we first consulted a developmental paediatrician who asked us to do ASO test which came negative. She suggested us to consult a child psychologist. Till then we went to more than 7 therapists,no one helped her. Many of them are not ready to accept that a child can get anxiety. I asked about PANDAS, they said it’s not in India, it’s common in only US. We sought help for 2 years only to find that child mental health is not a thing in my country. You will get rehabilitation and treatments for autism or Down syndrome, but they are not even aware of anxiety and OCD. This therapy journey made a bad impact on my kid, even Im traumatized to seek further help.

My kid’s ocd and anxiety are not affecting severely with her daily life. But Im yet to find her core themes, also her main compulsion is reassurance seeking, Im not sure if Im just getting the tip of the iceberg. With this condition, is it possible to help her without formal therapy? Can I implement learning tools from these resources? Or will it be wasting my kids precious time? I already feel guilty of wasting 2years of her life.

How can I make use of these resources?

[Natasha]

Hi Vidula,
I’m sorry to hear about the lack of support where you live. It can be hard as well when you have your own depression. Many members are in a similar boat in this community and don’t have access to care for anxiety/OCD. You can teach your daughter the skills directly if you have the ability. The first step is to get the help you need for your depression. Often doing simple things can be a struggle when we are depressed, let alone helping others.

I’m happy to support you one step at a time here in the forums. I would recommend, when you are ready, to take the OCD course you have free access to as a member (if you haven’t yet). https://atparentingcommunity.com/online-classes/

Disgust is an OCD theme. The core fear is really just about feeling like you can’t handle the feeling of disgust. I am wondering if that is what is going on with the tiles.

[Vidula T]

Thank you ma’am for your reply.

Since she is 4.5 years old, she is doing a specific action like tightening her genitals with her thighs(by stiffing her whole body). At starting I thought its completely normal to explore her body, so educated her its ok to do that, but we don’t do it in a public place we should do it in private. This action became more frequent and she do this when she is anxious or bored. Nowadays she feels guilty of doing this and she is scared of whether she harmed her body after doing this.

She might have sensory motor ocd, she frequently asks our reassurance “did I just pee?”. She asks even 5minutes after using loo.

 

What ll be the findings from this ma’am? What should I do to help her?

[Natasha]

Hi Vidula,
I’m not sure what she is doing when she tightens her body. I wonder if it is part of her self-soothing especially if she is doing it when she is bored or anxious?

It is good to rule out medical origins with the urge to pee before thinking it is sensorimotor OCD. Once medical has been ruled out you can take the approach of helping her handle the discomfort without getting reassurance or repeatedly peeing. Is she having accidents? Kids with PANDAS/PANS often have sudden urinary incontinence where they wet their pants.

Here are some resources for sensorimotor OCD:

https://www.anxioustoddlers.com/sensorimotor-ocd-2/

https://www.anxioustoddlers.com/sensorimotor-ocd/

 

[Vidula T]

Thank you for the resources on sensorimotor ocd.

(English is not my first language, sorry for the lack of clarity my explanation may make.)

No, she didn’t have any accidents. In fact, she is not frequently going to the loo, she requires our answer to the question “Did I just pee?”. If we answer “I don’t know, please think by yourself”, she kept asking “Please tell me, did I just pee?” in a worried tone. Only our “yes” or “no” makes the questioning stops.

If it’s to be sensorimotor ocd , peeing is the compulsion? or can reassurance seeking be the compulsion here?

She tightens her body in order to tighten her genital and she told me it makes her a good feeling. So I assume this is part of her sexual exploration(which I considered normal in her age). But the frequency of doing this increased and she cant control this when she is anxious . Which is the right way to approach this?

[Natasha]

Hi Vidula,
Yes, the reassurance checking is often the compulsion. I would show her this video about the need to pee to help educate her:

https://youtu.be/GOq_fhRDQ0U

And this one on reassurance seeking as a compulsion:

https://youtu.be/MMHDc7oAuag

Also, reading books on OCD can be helpful. What to Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck and Practicing Being Brave are two good ones.

The goal would be to help her understand that her OCD is tricking her and making her doubt if she has peed and her asking grows that worry. You can do challenges where she goes a certain amount of time without asking for reassurance.

Regarding the self stimulating behaviors, the more you draw attention to it, often the more it grows. You can help her find some other self soothing behaviors and set boundaries (like you have been) for when it is not appropriate to do this behavior.

 

 

[Vidula T]

Ma’am, my kid is probably gifted. Our previous therapist doubted her as gifted, but as per him, she should be 6 years old to officially test for giftedness.

What ll be the correlation between giftedness and ocd/anxiety? does the Approach towards ocd/anxiety change with this? I’m trying to understand my child better

[Natasha]

The approaches wouldn’t change due to a child being gifted. If anything, she might be able to understand approaches better due to her cognitive abilities.

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