which free course should i choose ?

[Sue H]

Hi my daughter according to her very short time with NOCD was diagnosed with OCD, anxiety, panic disorder and separation anxiety.  she seems very complex. she’s either vibrating teeth chattering anxiety (until risperidone given also on sertraline) then in moments of calm bombarded with intrusive thoughts, not right feelings. most compulsions internal, doesn’t ask for reassurance but doesn’t go to school because of separation issues.  She def has both but which course would be most beneficial? I have ordered crushing anxiety and been sent a code but now I’m not so sure. trying to start a road map and very overwhelmed so much so that i haven’t join lives yet either!

[Natasha]

Hi Sue,
No need to feel overwhelmed. You can always just get my one-on-one support in here until you feel you are ready to dive in. What are her OCD intrusive thoughts? I would think the OCD class would be better typically, as OCD is more counterintuitive than anxiety and so there is a steeper learning curve.

[Sue H]

Thank you so much for replying! !!!!!

Interestingly I watched your video about anxiety vs OCD and it could have been written about her – starting with being anxious about bedtime then about being sick which we thought was Emetophobia.  In the year waiting to see our mental health team (UK), it became contamination OCD (excessive hand washing, clothes lived downstairs, would not wear pants or socks to school, wouldn’t touch us, aggressive melt downs when we tried to not to reassure etc) she was put on medication(Prozac/ Sertraline)  and it did sort of take the edge off.  In the last 3 years I would say she presents in two ways her anxiety will build up to the point of where she goes into what I can only call episodes’ of flight and fight -i.e. she doesn’t come down, teeth chattering , body vibrating self harm which can last days.  so she is on risperidone for this.  When flares and she will need more.  When these episodes are not happening she is flooded with intrusive thoughts, pictures and  not right feeling.  Most of her compulsions are internal and can take from a few seconds to 3 or 4 minutes (this is usually choosing a good option in her head and then locking in with numbers.  I haven’t worked out quite how to unlock her core fear yet (still working my way through your videos) but I think its rooted in me, something bad happening to me and the family, her being transported out the family into a new body and her not being able to cope unless I’m there as I’m the only one that can calm her down.  She has missed 80% of her first year of high school last year and hasn’t been in since September this year(massive panic attacks in carpark and even when in school it  is a holding situation. I am at a loss sitting at home waiting for crap basic UK therapy which is why I joined you so I can be proactive.  I know some basics like not to reassure but for the last year she self reassurances and again lots of its internal stuff so I cant even help that way (I know you have some videos on this but I don’t want to be jumping all over the place just need a starting point)

Thanks and sorry for the essay!

Ps i got a code for the anxiety course but like you just said the OCD one sounds more appropriate can i exchange voucher?

[Natasha]

Hi Sue,
So sorry to hear about all her struggles. Yes, I would definitely do the OCD course. All that anxiety can easily stem from the OCD. In time she might benefit from the OCD Course for Kids and Teens as well so she can learn how to help herself. But I would start with building your knowledge base. You can email Ayla at atparentingsurvivalhelp@yahoo.com and tell her I said you can switch courses to the OCD one instead.

Have you tried NOCD for therapy? I know they are in the UK now. http://Www.treatmyocd.com

Would she be willing to watch any of my youtube videos? I can start hand picking ones for her to watch if she is willing?

[Sue H]

Good morning!

Firstly thank you so much for taking the time to reply (it can get very lonely when you are waiting for help)

I tried NOCD in September  while waiting for our UK free therapy.  The problem was I only had about 1200 pounds savings as I had to give up work to care for my daughter.  It cost $90 a session and the first 4 weeks were assessment. Then a couple of 2xweekly appointments where she was just asked to sit with her feelings (she spent most of the time under the table or melting down- we never really even got onto a ladder of fears as such)

School and being away from me is a huge trigger so as she had done a couple of days of school at the beginning of September(her first in nearly a year) and then couldn’t go the therapist offered to do session sitting outside the car- this did not go well she had what she described as an ‘extinction burst’ meltdown and yet nothing was asked of her really.  Once she had calmed down she was able to go and sit in the reception.  At next appointment therapist suggested that for a couple of hours every day she should go in and not matter what she just had to sit with it until mum came back (as there is talk of her not attending school which she didn’t want that. She agreed but that night she woke up screaming and went into what I described before as an anxiety episode).

She did not calm down that night until she burnt out and the next day she was vibrating, clawing at skin-like a possessed person.  So up went the risperidone and the sertraline.  I get that therapy can make the anxiety worse but I didn’t think to that extent! so I had about three hundred pounds left and i just thought I’m not wasting the last bit of money doing therapy when I couldn’t stabilizer her.  She is slightly more stable just but i would have to take out a loan to attempt again so I’m not sure what to do for the best in this situation-which is again why i sighed up to to try and do something positive.

I think she would be willing to watch your videos.  She can articulate really well her intrusive thoughts/images and not right feelings but refuses to not do the internal compulsions as just too scary- she’s not so good at explaining the panic episodes or understanding the build up or triggers to those with me yet! So Yes any videos you think maybe benefit her would be good.

Thanks Sue

[Natasha]

Hi Sue,
Sorry to hear about the struggles with getting her support. I feel like you’ve talked about emetophobia, contamination (which can easily all be based on the fear of throwing up), existential OCD themes (taken away and put in a new body), magical thinking (that can be driving her mental compulsions: if I do this, then this won’t happen etc).

Here are some videos on those topics. Also I asked Ayla to email you with another resource I want to send your way, so look out for her email:

Fear of throw up: https://youtu.be/oShDAdBugJ0

Contamination: https://youtu.be/ALikQ05XkEw

Existential:  (not my video) https://youtu.be/CDJI0hS4_Oc

Magical thinking: https://youtu.be/Vb6fs_KHBTw

[Sue H]

Hi Natasha (i know its the weekend but if i don’t send this now I might not get a chance for a few days- I don’t expect you to reply !!!!)Libby has started the course, we are only 4 videos in as she has to keep stopping the video to do compulsions as its so triggering!  We have worked really hard though and she has opened up more to me in the last five days than in the last five years.  I printed out the worry cloud sheet because she has so many different things going on that I wanted to see if I could get to the core fear/fears.  I have wrote it out on a table and was hoping you could take a brief moment to scan it and make sure I’m on the right track with my thinking!! Ill try and attach it below.  Any little bit of feedback would so much appreciated.

Many Thanks

Sue

pS ahh it wont let me upload below – could i email it to you or is that out of the scope that you offer/ dont want to take advantage so am really sorry if im asking more than is allowed

 

[Natasha]

Hi Sue,
You can take a picture of it and upload it here:

[Sue H]

Thank you

Sorry its about 5 photos but she had lots to say!

Thanks

Sue

[Sue H]

[Sue H]

[Sue H]

[Sue H]

[Natasha]

Wow Sue – this is AMAZING! This is truly a complete roadmap to what is driving her OCD. My guess is it is predominantly OCD and you are seeing anxiety as a symptom of all those intrusive thoughts a feelings. I’m so glad she was able to open up and tell you all those things!

Yes, you can definitely have more than one core fear- and most people do.

From what you shared these seem to be the core fears:

Sickness/Death= this can show up as a fear of throw up, it can show up as a fear of poison, it can show up as a demand to do something to avoid “something bad” from happening.

Separation Anxiety = This seems to have two themes 1) she won’t be able to cope with above fears without you (this is an indication that it would be helpful to eventually build independent coping skills so she can have more faith in her ability to calm herself) 2) She’ll be alone – but I think that also might circle back to her thought she can’t handle things by herself if something were to happen to all of you.

Personification = Things have feelings/ I’m a bad person if I hurt these objects feelings/ Magical thinking: Something bad will happen if I hurt these objects or their feelings.

Sexual Orientation OCD/Depersonalization = Not about orientation for her/ but about being the wrong gender (which is a common theme). Also, being something or turning into something she is not.

This is a fantastic start! I’m going to make a list of Youtube videos to supplement the course you are taking, but don’t feel you have to show her them all at once. I just want you to have a list of videos that will directly address these core fears when she’s ready to watch them:

When OCD Tells You to Do it or Something Bad Will Happen : https://youtu.be/Vb6fs_KHBTw

Do You Worry Objects or Stuffed Animals Have Feelings? https://youtu.be/b2_zwqa9V-0

Are you Afraid Of Death or Dying? https://youtu.be/iHWE6XxOjVw

Feel free to keep coming back in here so I can support you.

[Author]

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